The smell of success related Alcohol
Back many many years ago, someone came up with a marvelous idea. I know, he thought to himself, How about I decide to drink this substance, alcohol? What might happen? Well, I don’t know. No one has ever actually consumed it before. Is it even fit for human consumption? Oh well, only one way to find out.
Yuck! It’s so strong. It’s vile… Maybe I should try something to mix it with. Hmm, here we go. Much better. Almost tasty. Stll quite strong. It’s having an interesting effect on me. Unlike anything I’ve ever really experienced before.
What on earth is happening to my head? I put my hand out in front of me, but it takes my eyes at least 5 seconds to catch up with it. I drag my legs across the room but my toes can’t keep up. What on earth has happened to my senses? And not just my senses. I suddenly feel like I can do anything. I’m gorgeous, I’m smart, I’m funny! I’ll find a bride, I’ll have myself children.
A few gulps later and my whole head is spinning. I feel like I’ve just been on a rollercoaster of doom (Although they probably haven’t been invented yet). You know what I want to do now? I want to eat. And I want to dance. I’m tired, I’m exhausted, but this feeling running through my veins is unlike anything I have ever experienced before.
A feast! I demand a feast! Roast chicken, potatoes, yum yum. Washed down by some more of this wonderfully hypnotic liquid… I tear away from my gigantic meal and find myself a young beautiful woman. I can’t really tell if she is beautiful or not, because right now if I’m honest any woman with hair is a stunner. We’re dancing! Oh sweet heavens, I am dancing with this beautiful woman. I try kissing her, but she slaps me in the face, disgusted! Oh well, as if I care, I shall find another woman.
Sweet heavens, what on earth is happening to my feet? I am stumbling all over the goddamn place. I need to do something, but what? I fall straight to the floor on top of the cat. He squeals in pain, but I just laugh and quickly pour the remaining liquid into my mouth. I think it’s time for another glass!
Oh dear… I don’t feel very well. What’s this lump in my throat? It can’t be… No… Oh lord above. I am sick. I am as sick as a dog. I am after flooding the floor with a rotten display of digested alcohol. There is a pool surrounding me and also all over me. I don’t feel so successful now. In fact, if I’m honest, I feel like absolute shit.
A nearby maiden helps me to bed. “What on earth have you drank, sir?” she asks me. I just laugh, give her a little wink. “Alcohol, my beautiful woman, alcohol“.
“Sir, do you want to die? Why on earth are you drinking that?”
“It was marvelous! I was dancing, I was eating, I was on top of the flaming world! It was the best experience of my life!”
“I think you need some sleep, Sir”. The beautiful woman left me in my chambers. I shut my eyes and the night that I had just experienced ran around my head like some bizarre parasite having just wiggled it’s way into my ear.
What a night! I shall do the exact same thing tomorrow night. And court a beautiful woman… But I must make sure not to get sick on her silk dress.