Many of you will recall that the popular YouTuber Jenna Marbles posted a video entitled “Nice Guys Do Not Finish Last” almost one year ago, in August 2012.
The video currently has over 6 million hits, with 119,554 likes, so you ought to check it out now by following this link –> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3VXXXX9iVPI if you have not already done so. However, those who have already watched the video ought to keep on reading.
Today I intend to reply directly to Jenna Marbles’ video through text format. I considered doing a video response to the video – but thought I’d try something different with a text response instead.
Besides, I could see myself stumbling across my words in a video esponse and not even get to the point of what I’m trying to say!
Jenna Marbles’ popular video uses the old “say it is as it is” approach – which is not uncommon for the almost-Canadian quirky blonde. A similar style can be seen in other uploads such as “Girls That Piss Me Off” and “Things I Don’t Understand About Girls Part 2: Slut Edition”.
In “Nice Guys Do Not Finish Last”, Jenna expresses her frustration at self pitying men who chase exceptionally attractive women, end up being rejected or dumped, then claim that the reason for this is because “nice guys finish last”.
Jenna rejects the popular notion that “nice guys finish last”, and essentially tells these men that they weren’t dumped because they were “nice”, but rather because they were lacking in other areas. She makes reference to these men not having jobs and/or living with their parents.
To me, Jenna’s annoyance and frustration is evident in the video – although she tries to make light of this by making the video funny. However, I do genuinely get the impression from the video that Jenna either knows a man like this personally, has dated a man like this at some point in her life, or has a friend/relative who has dated/is dating a man like this.
I don’t feel that this kind of frustration would exist just from Jenna having observed acquaintances or strangers. I feel that she is personally involved in this video and it is something that hits home for her.
Going back to the content of the video, I mainly agree with what Jenna has to say. Although I am a fan of Jenna’s videos though, I do feel that she plays into stereotypes a lot. For instance, she claims that she “does not trust” a woman who does not pack a range of beauty products when traveling on an airplane in her “People I Hate At The Airport (part 2 ish)” video.
And, in her “Nice Guys Do Not Finish Last” video, the same stereotypes exist. She plays into the “nerdy man” stereotype ie no social skills, lives in mother’s basement, plays world of warcraft, etc. It would have been refreshing, I feel, if Jenna didn’t use the “nerdy man” stereotype and instead spoke for the general self pitying man, which in my experience, could fit any profile.
Also, I feel that it’s not just “nice guys” who use this excuse for getting dumped or being rejected by someone romantically. In my observation, rejected women use the same excuses. It seems that it’s more “nice people” who “finish last”, and even then, they only “finish last” because they put themselves in that position.
I’ve come across countless people (yes people, not only guys) who approach dating this way. They think that because they’re “nice” ie friendly, mannerly, kind and complementary, that should therefore automatically entitle them a date with whoever they choose.
And really, Jenna is right about what she expresses in her video. “People want to feel equal in a relationship”, she states, as she gives out about average/seemingly “unattractive” men chasing much more attractive women to date.
It’s true – we all do want to feel equal in a relationship. We choose someone similar to us perhaps in personality or genetic makeup because we don’t want to feel internally inferior or self conscious when with them.
How many times have you seen a tanned and muscular 6ft man dating a morbidly obese woman with terrible acne? Equally, how many times have you seen a fit and attractive woman dating the stereotypical awkward “nerd”? The truth is, however blunt it may be, that this is rare in the majority of cases. We all try to deny this, and claim that “what’s inside is what counts”, but really, there must exist some level of physical attraction to make any relationship work. Dating purely based on personality will surely result in friendship and friendship only, I feel.
Jenna gives out about self pitying men not owning up to the other areas they are lacking in and instead justifying being dumped by using the old age excuse “nice guys finish last”. She emphasizes this statement by stating that “there’s not one girl in this world who does not like nice people”. She is of the opinion that the “nice guys finish last” motto is a “cop out way” of not owning up to what you did/didn’t do in the relationship.
The thing is that you can’t force anyone to be attracted to you. And, this seems to be what frustrates Jenna the most. These self pitying people believe that being “nice” should automatically mean that the person they are attracted to should be attracted to them. But, and I cannot stress this enough, it doesn’t work like that.
As Jenna said, “there’s not one girl in the world who does not like nice people”. And, in many cases, the individual is rejected because they’re self pitying. Self pity as a trait is incredibly unattractive for most people.
Typically, self pity exists alongside a complaining attitude. How many times have you heard of these kinds of people? They believe that they are in a terrible situation, be it financially, economically, socially and or/personally, but instead of trying to change their situation, they constantly complain about it and seek pity from others around them.
But isn’t this person “nice”? Of course. They’re mannerly, kind and respectful, but nonetheless, they pity themselves. Typically, self pity and a complaining attitude goes alongside no ambition, and, even more typically, all of these traits go alongside poor self confidence.
Right away, the typical person is lacking several traits that most people look for in the significant other. Most people are attracted to good self confidence and ambition. It doesn’t matter that the person is “nice” if they have nothing else going for them. Again, that may sound harsh, but is still true in many cases.
I mainly do agree with Jenna in her video. And, being honest, it’s not difficult to understand where her level of frustration comes from. The world is full of self pitying people (people, not men) who feel have an underlying sense of entitlement when it comes to dating. The bottom line is that being “nice” does not entitle you to anything. It may sound harsh, but I feel it is true. It’s the same principle for job applications.
Being “nice” in an interview won’t guarantee you the job if you don’t have any other skills/traits to offer.
“Nice guys finish last” is an overstated motto used to avoid responsibility in the dating world.
Like Jenna, I would like to hear less of this motto being used.
The only problem I have with Jenna’s video is her use of stereotypes. Overall though, this is a funny video with a lot of truth in it.