PART 2. Who are you getting ready for?
Have you ever wondered why many girls are inclined to spend ages getting ready? Why would they go to all that effort? Why do they have to put on makeup? Why did they have to spend so much money on an outfit? Why did they have to put fake tan on? Why did they have to pile on jewelry? The list goes on and on.
It’s to impress men, right? It must be, surely? Why else would they go to all that bother? Surely if they weren’t trying to get attention from men they would have arrived at said social gathering wearing jeans with their hair in a ponytail. Right?
Wrong! The theory that women “doll themselves up” to get attention from men is, in my view, completely ludicrous. I am not the kind of woman who would normally spend a long time getting ready, in fact when I go to a pub for instance, I don’t really “dress up”, not to the same extent that some women do anyway, and I would normally be ready in 10 minutes. However, when attending certain events, like for instance job interviews, meetings, etc, I make an effort to present myself better than I normally would.
Why do I do this? So I can feel confident in myself. I am not a superficial person by any means, I do not believe that the inner core of confidence comes from someone’s external appearance. However, a certain level of one’s confidence does come from how one presents him/herself. This cannot be denied. I am not referring to someone’s looks, I am referring to how they present themselves.
I feel the least confident for the day to come if I am very poorly presented, if I am not as hygienic as I should be, if my appearance is somewhat sloppy, etc.
I do not need to dress up to feel confident but it helps my existing confidence.
If you are in any ways observant, you probably will have picked up by now that I am very “ME” focused throughout this entire explanation. Did I once mention the fact that I try to present myself well to impress men?!
It baffles me the amount of times I have heard women claim that other women dress up/present themselves well to impress men OR to impress other women.
We are all selfish. Anyone who tries to deny the fact they are selfish are lying to themselves. There is a difference between being “selfish” and being “self obsessed”, “narcissistic”, etc.
However, we are all selfish to an extent. A certain degree of selfishness exists in us all because it would be impossible to focus on the needs and wants of other people during every second, every minute, every hour, every day of our lives.
It is perfectly normal to focus on ourselves, just as we would focus on others. If we do not focus on ourselves to a certain extent, then we wouldn’t be able to help others! It’s the circle of social-psychology-life…
It is not only women who claim that other women dress up to impress men. I have heard many men make the same or similar remarks.
Any time you dress up, you do so to feel more confident in yourself, to be well presented &, in some circumstances, perform better as a result. Perhaps, in turn, when you do dress up to feel more confident, you find that you are more confident when interacting with the opposite sex, BUT this is merely a result of the underlying reason you’re dressing up, which is for confidence.
Bare in mind that I am not a psychologist by any means, this is all just my opinion & my observation, but I believe overall that women dress for themselves. Nobody else!
PART 1. Why are you laughing at her?
I’m nearly 21 years of age & I still will never get my head around grown women who laugh at others…out of a meaningless superiority complex. Some people try to justify these women’s actions by saying they are “insecure” or “jealous” but in my view that’s really just an excuse for an unanswerable question. These women are how they are because they’re unkind, sharp & ignorant. It’s as simple as.
I am a grown woman & I would never disrespect someone enough to laugh at them. Everyone deserves respect & common courtesy & this is something I was raised to truly believe in, & I have & hope to always have that motto through life, because at the end of the day I have felt that sting, that knife going through my heart from being mistreated by others, & I would hope to never intentionally cause that pain to another undeserving person in my existence. I am sure most of us have experienced the sting I am speaking about. Why would you want to cause that hurt to another person? I am sure some women simply do not realise the pain they are causing, but I encourage you all to take a step back from the situation the next time, & really consider it.
Would you like to be laughed at my someone? No, of course you wouldn’t. Because you don’t like feeling low, unimportant, irrelevant & completely ridiculed. I’m not in this life to be made a fool of. I am here for the same kind of reasons as most of us are – to live, to learn, to offer my soul to the world in whatever way(s) possible. I am not here to be made feel stupid or pathetic by others.
Listen girls…you are all wonderful, unique & entirely you, & I am sure whatever lives you have are entirely different to one another, & equally I am sure that you have your own story. But whether you are good or evil, quick or slow, lazy or active, I can almost guarantee you right now that you DON’T like being ridiculed or intentionally embarrassed. No one does. Even serial killers!
Think before you speak, what seems like a joke to you could be detrimental to others.
It seems that we are constantly hearing shudders and disapproving tuts from parents and guardians alike, regarding the Barbie dolls their young girls play with. I am sure that I am not the only one who has heard statements such as “Barbie makes little girls think that they have to look a certain way”, and “Barbie doesn’t represent a normal woman” being thrown around in the last number of years. But, are these disapproving remarks actually truthful? Or, is this just an irrational concern?
When I was younger, I played with barbies. I liked to make them prance around the place, often in a somewhat ‘unladylike fashion’, contrary to their flawless, pretty appearance. In fact, I spent very little time as a young girl concerning myself with what Barbie wore. I can’t remember ever maintaining the dainty little shoes which came with her – they always became lost in some way or other. Similarly, I spent little time brushing her hair. I’d roughly scrape through her plastic dyed hair with a human sized brush, and scrape it back with one of my scrunchies. My Barbies spent most of their time frolicking around the place like they were drunk out of their minds… no shoes, carelessly dressed, often going around with missing items of clothing, etc. I gave my Barbies certain personalities. I remember when I was small, I was not one of these young girls to play into ‘the princess Barbie’; I always found the sporty and sociable Barbie to be far more appealing. I know that other girls are different, and they spend all of their time sitting in their pristine rooms, brushing Barbie’s hair, dressing her, and of course, maintaining every last one of her colourful dainty shoes.
Barbie was not the only toy we played with when we were young. There were plenty – Baby Born, toy cars, teddies, board games, remote control cars, or even ‘make-it-yourself’ sets (which were referred to as ‘makey-do sets’ in my house). I cannot speak for the general nation of children, but in our house there was rarely gender distinguishing when it came to toys. My siblings and I shared our toys. I didn’t adapt an unrealistic body image from Barbie, just like I didn’t aspire to be a cowboy from playing with a Woody doll.
For the most part, I feel I can speak from experience, and say that toys do not put any pressure on children to become a certain person. Similar concerns have been expressed regarding video games such as ‘Grand Theft Auto’. My simple response to this concern is that maniacs, murderers and rapists have been around for centuries. I fail to see how a violent video game is going to encourage children to act violently. Also, the game is only suitable for over 18 year olds — so maybe your child shouldn’t be playing it anyway if you do not want these concerns to become reality.
I can safely say that for me, a toy was always just a toy when I was young. I was never under the impression that girls who looked like Barbie existed. Perhaps ‘blonde bombshells’ did, but nonetheless they were human beings with non-animated faces and hair that wasn’t plastic. I also knew that Woody from Toy Story didn’t exist, and that race cars required a driver to move, not a hand.
Toys are there for children to create, to imagine, to have fun and to even express themselves. So, my simple answer to the title of this blog is ‘no’, I don’t feel that Barbie distorts the body image of young girls. Barbie is just a glorified piece of plastic, with round plastic boobs and plastic white-blonde hair. Barbie was made out of plastic – just like Baby Born was, and just like remote control cars were. I was never under the illusion that I would someday become a Barbie replica – and I never felt any of my other friends would either. I was surrounded by real-life women, who were not made out of plastic and did not have permanent makeup tattooed onto their faces. I always aspired to be like these women – I never aspired to look like Barbie, or act like her (considering her personality was somewhat bland.)
If anything, we need to concern ourselves with real-life women. I do recall aspiring to be like Rachel Stevens from S Club 7, or Emma Bunton from The Spice Girls. Rachel Stevens was awarded the title of ‘Sexiest Woman Alive’ during my childhood; and Emma Bunton often wore very little clothes and behaved very promiscuously in music videos (although she was most probably playing the character of ‘Baby Spice’)
Are these really positive role models for young girls? Both examples were sexualised in the media. Barbie was also sexualised; but as I have stated, the difference is that Barbie is plastic. Perhaps we need to be concerning ourselves more with the unsuitable role models for young girls?
But for now, I don’t feel Barbie is putting on any pressure. And, if you think she is, just don’t buy her for your children. It seems pretty simple to me!
Thanks for reading 🙂